Kukhala kholo ndizovuta. Pamenepo, ndi kusintha kwa dziko lathu lero, ikhoza kukhala imodzi mwazovuta zomwe takhala tikukumana nazo kwazaka zambiri. Kusintha kumabweretsa kusatsimikizika, ndipo kusatsimikizika kungayambitse kupsinjika. Kupsinjika maganizo kumakhudzadi mbali zonse za moyo wathu, nthawi zina zimakhudza ubale wathu ndi okondedwa athu kwambiri; makamaka ana athu.
Ana athu akhoza kukhala ovuta (tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo, ifenso tingathe!), ndipo ndi ntchito yovuta kuonetsetsa kuti kusuntha kulikonse ndi "koyenera".. Kuti zonse zokambirana zathu, zofuna, zopempha, mapulani, kuyamika ndi kutsutsa kumatanthauza chinachake. Nthawi iliyonse yomwe timacheza ndi ana athu, tili ndi chiyembekezo chakuti mawu amenewa adzakhala okwanira kudzaza ana athu ndi chiyembekezo cha tsogolo labwino panthaŵi imene tsogolo liri losatsimikizirika.. Nthawi zimasintha, ndipo ichinso chidzapita, koma chinthu chimodzi chimene tingatsimikizire n’chakuti sitidzakhalanso ndi mwayi wachiwiri wokhala ndi ana athu.
Monga makolo, nthawi zambiri timadzifunsa ngati tikuchitadi zoyenera, tikudabwa momwe tingachitire ndi ana athu, kuyesera kumvetsetsa bwino ana athu, ndipo nthawi zina timadziona ngati olephera chifukwa timadziuza tokha kuti tikulakwitsa. Nthawi zambiri, sizili choncho, koma palibe buku la malangizo amomwe mungalerere mwana lomwe lingagwire ntchito kwa aliyense muzochitika zonse. Zedi, pali malangizo ambiri, kuchuluka kwake, koma kachiwiri, malangizo ambiri ndi okhawo; malangizo ndi malangizo a anthu omwe sadziwa inu kapena mwana wanu. Zina mwa izo ndizothandiza, ndipo zina…osati mochuluka.
Chinthu chimodzi chimene sitingakane ndi kufunikira kwa ubale wabwino pakati pa kholo ndi mwana.
Kafukufuku akusonyeza zimenezo:
- Ana omwe ali ndi ubale wabwino ndi makolo amatha kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi anzawo.
- Amawonetsanso kuwongolera bwino kwamalingaliro.
- Kulumikizana kotetezedwa kwa makolo kumabweretsa kukula bwino kwachidziwitso.
- Kugwirizana kolimba kwa makolo ndi ana kumatanthauza kuti kholo limakhala lotanganidwa kwambiri ndi maphunziro a ophunzira, zomwe zingapangitse kuti munthu apindule kwambiri pamaphunziro.
Ndikofunikira kupeza nthawi yokulitsa ubale ndi mwana wanu, ndipo mwinanso zofunika kwambiri, kuonetsetsa kuti kugwirizana komwe timakhala nako ndi ana athu panthawiyo kumakhala kolimbikitsa. Zimenezi n’zimene makolo ambiri amaziona kukhala zovuta, chifukwa chake tidapanga kalabu yamabuku a makolo a bukuli Momwe Mungalankhulire Kuti Ana Amvetsere ndi Kumvetsera Kuti Ana Alankhule ndi Adele Faber ndi Elaine Mazlish. Tonse tinaphunzira njira zolankhulirana bwino ndi ana athu kuti tilimbitse maubwenzi athu. Tinapatula nthawi kukambirana mfundo za m’bukulo, komanso anali ndi msonkhano weniweni kuti achite sewero la njira zina za m'bukuli. Pamwamba pa izo, tinaitana Middle School Guidance Counselor, Regina Wehner, kuti tipatse makolo maphunziro oti amvetsetse kakulidwe kachidziwitso ndi malingaliro a mwana wathu.
Nazi zina zazikulu zomwe tikufuna kugawana nanu!
Choyamba, kuchokera Momwe Mungalankhulire Kuti Ana Amvetsere ndi Kumvetsera Kuti Ana Alankhule, apa pali awiri mwa njira zomwe timakonda:
- Bwerezani Pambuyo Panga
Ana amavutika kulamulira maganizo awo, monga malo owongolera malingaliro a ubongo ndi amodzi mwa omaliza kukula. Izi zikutanthauza kuti amafunikira thandizo lathu mwachifundo komanso chitsanzo. Zimenezi zingakhale zovuta kwambiri, makamaka pamene nthawi zina timavutika kulamulira maganizo athu! Tili ndi njira yosavuta kwa inu yomwe idzangofunika zinthu ziwiri zokha:
- Mvetserani
- Bwerezani
Mwana wanu akabwera kunyumba akukhumudwa ndi zimene zinachitika kusukulu, m'malo mophunzitsa ndi kupereka malangizo athu anzeru, Tikhoza kungomvetsera nkhawa zawo ndi kubwereza mfundozo kwa iwo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwana wanu abwera kunyumba ali wokhumudwa ndi kunena chinachake chonga, “Uuh, lero Elizabeti ndi Sara anandichitira chipongwe! Anandinyalanyaza kotheratu ndipo ndimawada onse tsopano!” M’malo monena, “Elizabeti ndi Sara ndi abwenzi ako apamtima. Sizovuta kwambiri ndipo ndikutsimikiza kuti mukhala bwino mawa,” zomwe zingasokoneze maganizo a mwana wanu, mukhoza kunena, “O!, Kodi. Elizabeti ndi Sara anakuchititsani kumva kuti ndinu osafunika. Izi mwina zinakupangitsani kumva chisoni komanso misala.” Panthawi imeneyi mwana wanu akhoza kupitiriza kulankhula ndi kukutsegulirani, chomwe chiri chachikulu! Zikutanthauza kuti amakukhulupirirani ndipo mukuwapangitsa kumva bwino. Pitirizani kumvetsera, nod, kunena, "Mmmmm,” ndi kubwereza zomwe akunena. Kungomvetsera mwachisawawa kungapangitse mwana wanu kumva 100% bwino komanso okonzeka kukumana ndi zovuta zina!
2. Ndikulakalaka!
Ana athu nthawi zambiri amanena zokhumba zawo mwa kulakalaka akanakhala ndi zinthu zomwe alibe kapena kulakalaka kuti zinthu zikanakhala zosiyana ndi momwe alili.. Mwachitsanzo, Ana anganene, "Ndikanakonda sindikanachita homuweki yonseyo." Tikhoza kuyankha, “Chabwino, mukuchita ndipo ndi zimenezo!” kapena “Ndi zimene muyenera kuchita. Ndi udindo wanu kotero muyenera kuchita izo tsopano!”
Zimenezi zingakule n’kukhala mkangano waufulu pamene makolo akhumudwa kuti amangomva madandaulo omwewo ndi kubwerezanso kulingalira komweko.. Anawo amakhumudwa chifukwa maganizo awo akuphwanyidwa ndipo amaona kuti sakuwamvetsa. Chabwino, osadandaula, tiri pano kuti tithandize! Tili ndi chinyengo chaching'ono chomwe chingakuthandizeni kusintha zokambiranazo, ndipo kuti vomerezani ndi mwana wanu. Zingamveke ngati zotsutsana, koma tili ndi zomwe takumana nazo ndi chinyengo ichi ndipo chimagwira ntchito modabwitsa!
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwana wanu akunena, “Ndikanakonda tikanapita kupaki lero momwe ndimafunira!”
M'malo monena, “Sindingathe, Ndine wotanganidwa kwambiri,” kapena “Inde, koma sitingathe, kukugwa mvula,” tinganene, “Ndikanakonda ifenso tikanatha! Tikhoza kupita kupaki ndi kukachita pikiniki! Tikhoza kuwulutsa kaiti ndi kuwomba thovu! Bwanji tilibe pikiniki m’chipinda chochezera ndipo pambuyo pake tikhoza kuwomba thovu m’bafa!”
Gawo loyamba limapangitsa ana kusangalala ndi malingaliro awo kupita, kuwatengera kumalo achimwemwe. Gawo lotsatira limawapangitsa kumva ndikulumikizana ndi inu.
Panopa, zina zazikulu kuchokera kwa Ms. Wehner's workshop:
*Chonde ndithandizeni kusankha izi! :)*
Ngati mungafune kujowina imodzi mwamisonkhano yathu kapena makalabu owerengera mtsogolo, onetsetsani kuti mutitsatira ndikukhalabe maso! Tili ndi zinthu zazikulu zomwe zikubwera m'dzinja lino!
