He paʻakikī ka lilo ʻana i makua. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, me nā loli o ko kākou honua i kēia mau lā, ʻo ia paha kekahi o nā manawa paʻakikī a mākou e alo ai i nā makahiki. Hoʻololi ke alakaʻi i ka maopopo ʻole, a hiki i ka maopopo ole ke alakai i ka pilikia. Hoʻopilikia maoli ka pilikia i nā wahi āpau o ko mākou ola, i kekahi manawa e hoʻopilikia nui i kā mākou pilina me kā mākou poʻe aloha; ʻoi aku kā mākou mau keiki.
Hiki i kā mākou mau keiki ke paʻakikī (e alo kakou, pela no kakou!), a he hana koʻikoʻi ka hōʻoia ʻana i kēlā me kēia neʻe ʻo ia ka "pololei".. ʻO kā mākou mau kamaʻilio ʻana, koi, noi, nā hoʻolālā, ʻo ka hoʻomaikaʻi a me ka hoʻohewa ʻana he mea ia. I kēlā me kēia manawa mākou e kamaʻilio me kā mākou mau keiki, ke lana nei ko makou manao e lawa ana keia mau olelo e hoopiha ai i na keiki me ka manaolana no ka hiki ana mai i ka wa maopopo ole o keia mua aku.. Hoʻololi nā manawa, a e hala no hoi keia, akā hoʻokahi mea hiki iā mākou ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole loa e loaʻa iā mākou ka lua o ka manawa e hoʻolilo i kahi wā kamaliʻi me kā mākou mau keiki.
E like me nā mākua, ke nīnau pinepine nei mākou iā mākou iho inā mākou e hana nei i ka mea pono, e noʻonoʻo ana pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke hele i kā mākou mau keiki, e hoʻāʻo e hoʻomaopopo pono i kā mākou mau keiki, a i kekahi manawa ke manaʻo nei e like me ka hewa hewa no ka mea ke ʻōlelo nei mākou iā mākou iho ke hana hewa nei mākou. ʻO ka manawa pinepine, ʻAʻole pēlā, akā, ʻaʻohe palapala aʻo e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka hānai ʻana i ke keiki e hana no kēlā me kēia ma nā kūlana āpau. ʻOiaʻiʻo, nui ka ʻōlelo aʻo, he nui loa o ia mea, aka hou, ʻO ka hapa nui o nā ʻōlelo aʻo ʻo ia wale nō; alakaʻi a me nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka poʻe ʻike ʻole iā ʻoe a i kāu keiki. He mea kōkua kekahi, a ʻo kekahi o ia…ʻaʻole nui loa.
ʻO kahi mea hiki ʻole iā mākou ke hōʻole ʻoiai ʻo ke koʻikoʻi o ka pilina olakino ma waena o ka makua a me ke keiki.
Hōʻike ka noiʻi i kēlā:
- Hiki i nā keiki i loaʻa ka pilina makua maikaʻi ke kūkulu i nā pilina maikaʻi me kā lākou mau hoa.
- Hōʻike pū lākou i ka hoʻoponopono manaʻo maikaʻi.
- ʻO kahi pilina makua paʻa e alakaʻi i ka ulu ʻana o ka naʻau.
- ʻO ka pilina ikaika o ke keiki me ka makua, ʻo ia hoʻi, ʻoi aku ka pili o ka makua i ke ola kula o nā haumāna, hiki ke alakaʻi i kahi kiʻekiʻe o ka hoʻokō kula.
He mea nui e hoʻokaʻawale i ka manawa e hānai ai i kahi pilina me kāu keiki, a ʻoi aku paha ka pono, e hōʻoia i ka maikaʻi o ka launa pū ʻana me kā mākou mau keiki i ia manawa. He mea paʻakikī kēia i nā mākua he nui, ʻo ia ke kumu i hana ai mākou i hui puke makua no ka puke Pehea e kamaʻilio ai e hoʻolohe a hoʻolohe nā keiki i kamaʻilio ai nā keiki na Adele Faber a me Elaine Mazlish. Ua aʻo pū mākou i nā ala e kamaʻilio maikaʻi me kā mākou mau keiki i mea e hoʻoikaika ai i kā mākou pilina. Ua hoʻolilo mākou i ka manawa e kūkākūkā ai i nā manaʻo mai ka puke, a me ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hui virtual e pāʻani i kekahi o nā hoʻolālā mai ka puke. Ma luna o kēlā, ua kono mākou i ke alakaʻi alakaʻi kula waena, Regina Wehner, e hoʻolako i nā mākua i kahi papa hana no ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka ulu ʻana o ka naʻau a me ka naʻau o kā mākou keiki.
Eia kekahi mau mea koʻikoʻi makemake mākou e kaʻana like me ʻoe!
Ka mua, mai Pehea e kamaʻilio ai e hoʻolohe a hoʻolohe nā keiki i kamaʻilio ai nā keiki, eia ʻelua o kā mākou punahele punahele:
- E hai mai mahope o'u
Paʻakikī nā keiki i ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ko lākou mau manaʻo, ʻoiai ʻo ke kikowaena hoʻoponopono naʻau o ka lolo kekahi o nā mea hope loa e hoʻomohala. 'O ia ho'i, pono lākou i kā mākou kōkua ma ke 'ano o ke aloha a me ka ho'ohālike. He mea paʻakikī kēia, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka mālama ʻana i ko mākou mau manaʻo i kekahi manawa! Loaʻa iā mākou kahi hoʻolālā maʻalahi no ʻoe e koi wale i ʻelua mau mea:
- E hoʻolohe
- E hana hou
Ke hoʻi mai kāu keiki me ka huhū no kekahi mea i hana ʻia ma ke kula, ma kahi o ke aʻo ʻana a me ka hāʻawi ʻana i kā mākou ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo naʻauao, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻolohe wale i ko lākou manaʻo a hoʻihoʻi hou i nā manaʻo iā lākou. ʻo kahi laʻana, inā hoʻi mai kāu keiki me ka huhū a ʻōlelo i kekahi mea like, “Uh, I kēia lā, ua hana ʻino ʻo Elizabeth lāua ʻo Sara iaʻu! Hoʻowahāwahā loa lākou iaʻu a inaina wau iā lāua i kēia manawa!” Ma kahi o ka ʻōlelo ʻana, “ʻO Elizabeth lāua ʻo Sarah ko ʻolua mau hoaaloha maikaʻi loa. ʻAʻole ia he hana nui a maopopo iaʻu e maikaʻi ana ʻoe i ka lā ʻapōpō,” hiki ke hōʻole i ka manaʻo o kāu keiki, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo, “Auwe, ʻike au. Ua haʻalele ʻo Elizabeth lāua ʻo Sarah iā ʻoe. Ua kaumaha paha ʻoe a huhū. I kēia manawa hiki i kāu keiki ke kamaʻilio a wehe iā ʻoe, ka mea nui! ʻO ia hoʻi, hilinaʻi lākou iā ʻoe a ke hoʻomaikaʻi nei ʻoe iā lākou. E hoʻomau i ka hoʻolohe, kunou, ʻōlelo, “Mmmhmm,” a haʻi hou i kā lākou ʻōlelo. Ma muli o kou hoʻolohe wale ʻana e manaʻo paha kāu keiki 100% ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka mākaukau e kū i kā lākou pilikia e hiki mai ana!
2. Lana koʻu manaʻo!
Hōʻike pinepine kā mākou mau keiki i ko lākou makemake ma ke ʻano o ka makemake e loaʻa iā lākou nā mea ʻaʻole i loaʻa iā lākou a makemake paha e ʻokoʻa nā mea i ko lākou ʻano.. ʻo kahi laʻana, e ʻōlelo paha nā keiki, "Makemake au ʻaʻole pono wau e hana i kēlā mau haʻawina home." Hiki iā mākou ke pane, “Pēlā, hana ʻoe a ʻo ia kēlā!" aiʻole "ʻO ia kāu mea e hana ai. Nau ke kuleana no laila pono ʻoe e hana i kēia manawa!”
E piʻi aʻe paha kēia i loko o ke kaua o ka makemake ʻoiai ke huhū nei nā mākua i ko lākou lohe ʻana i ka hoʻopiʻi like a hana hou i ka manaʻo like.. Hoʻopilikia ʻia nā keiki no ka hoʻopau ʻia ʻana o ko lākou manaʻo a manaʻo ʻole lākou. Pono, mai hopohopo, Eia mākou e kōkua! Loaʻa iā mākou kahi hana maʻalahi e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻohuli i ke kamaʻilio ʻana, a ʻo ia hoʻi ʻae aku me kāu keiki. He kūʻē paha ia, akā, ua loaʻa iā mākou ka ʻike mua me kēia hana hoʻopunipuni a hana kupanaha!
ʻo kahi laʻana, inā ʻōlelo kāu keiki, "Makemake au e hiki iā mākou ke hele i ka paka i kēia lā e like me koʻu makemake!”
Ma kahi o ka ʻōlelo ʻana, "ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu, Paahana loa au,” a i ʻole “ʻAe, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou, ua ua,” hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo, “Makemake au e hiki nō iā mākou! Hiki iā mākou ke hele i ka paka a pākaʻi! Hiki iā mākou ke lele i ka lupe a puhi i nā ʻōhū! No ke aha i loaʻa ʻole ai kahi pīniki i loko o ka lumi hoʻokipa a ma hope o ia mea hiki iā mākou ke puhi i nā ʻōpala i loko o ka lumi lumi!”
ʻO ka hapa mua e hoʻohauʻoli i nā keiki a hele ko lākou noʻonoʻo, e lawe ana iā lākou i kahi hauʻoli. ʻO ka ʻāpana aʻe e manaʻo ai lākou e lohe ʻia a pili iā ʻoe.
I kēia manawa, kekahi mau mea koʻikoʻi mai Ms. hale hana o Wehner:
*E ʻoluʻolu e kōkua mai iaʻu e koho i kēia! :)*
Inā makemake ʻoe e hui pū me kekahi o kā mākou papa hana a i ʻole nā hui puke i ka wā e hiki mai ana, e ʻoluʻolu e hahai mai iā mākou a e hoʻomau! Loaʻa iā mākou nā mea nui e hiki mai ana i kēia hāʻule!
